SIMON BIRD

 Most will recognise comedian Simon Bird for his role as Will McKenzie in E4’s Bafta-award-winning series The Inbetweeners. So successful was the show, which ran over three seasons from 2008, that Film 4 have commissioned a full-length version - due to arrive at cinemas before the summer’s end.
For now, Bird is playing Adam Goodman in new Channel 4 comedy Friday Night Dinner, involving two brothers (Bird and newcomer Tom Rosenthal) who return to their parent’s home for a traditional Friday night dinner – both immediately reverting to their teenage callow, the minute they return to the parental fold. Incidentally, Bird himself has recently returned to his own parent’s home in Guilford, (buying a flat in London is taking longer than he originally thought).
Before diving into the biscuit tin to face our brazen collection of questions protocol dictates that we ask Bird to come up with his own question to add to the mix, said question is: “What super power would you have?” Ironically once Bird delves into our biscuit tin the first question he pulls is that suggested by previous Biscuit Tin interviewee, Tinie Tempah…

What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex?
Right. That’s a nice gentle one to start me off. I don’t know if my girlfriend would appreciate me telling this… [a long, careful, pause] I’m not going to answer this one!
What is your earliest memory?
My older brother falling into a waterfall when I was three. It was Glen Ellis Falls in America and we were at the top and my brother wanted to test the temperature of the water and then next minute slips in. Luckily he could swim otherwise he would’ve been swept away. It’s a proper big waterfall. He would have definitely died. It was very dramatic.
Who was the last person you told that you loved?
Erm… probably my girlfriend. There was quite a lot of love on set of Friday Night Dinner and The Inbetweeners – we’re always telling each other we love each other. But I think my girlfriend would get quite offended if I didn’t say it was her.
What’s your work out routine?
For the Inbetweeners movie I have, somewhat embarrassingly, started going to the gym – literally in the last two weeks. As if that’s going to make a difference! We’re starting work on the film in 14 days as it’s a lad’s holiday in the sun so we have our tops off for most of it. We all suddenly realised, about a week ago, that our flab is going to be on the big screen but I think I left it too late
What is your weakness?
Not great for an actor, but I have a really bad memory. I’m awful with my lines. Some people can turn up on the day and know them instantly whereas I need to spend some time to get them to lodge. And in a worse way I’m bad with friends’ birthdays and important dates.
Sweet or savory snacks?
Sweet, certainly, but, as I said, not in the last couple of weeks. That’s why I’ll only eat HALF a marangne. I’m a bit of a junk food addict, really.
What do you find attractive in the opposite sex?
A sense of humour is the most important thing, and luckily I find my girlfriend very funny. It’s sort of unspoken, but there is a bit of competition between me and my girlfriend if we have people round and stuff.
What would you like to wear but know you shouldn’t?
I used to wear clothing that was similar to my character in the inbetweeners. I was quite preppy – sleeveless jumpers, that sort of thing. But I can’t really do that anymore. People would get very confused between myself and my character. So I avoid tank tops.
Where is your best place to go out?
Somewhere I discovered recently is a restaurant called Polpetto in Soho which is a lovely tapas restaurant. And in Guilford, where I am with my parents, there is Guilford town centre – great shopping. Great restaurants!
What did the last text you sent say?
It’s boring… “Hi Rich. My train gets into Waterloo at half nine, so I should be at Channel 4 by 10.” We can check the one before that, if you like [checks] No. You can’t have that one! [smirks]

[Originally published in Rollacoaster Magazine Issue 2, February 2011. Photography Amarpaul Kalirai.]